Thursday, June 4, 2009

Surviving a Music Fest Part 2

By Ian Kleine

With camping out, the tent is usually the more favored choice of because of the comfort the soft grass gives (just make sure you're camping out in the soft grass and not in the soft poo or in the soft piss-laden mud). But make sure that you know what your tent looks like. In a sea of vinyl and rainbow-colored tents, good luck finding your abode (the chances of you finding a needle in a haystack would probably seem better).

Have a landmark (like a large rock beside your tent, not over it, especially if the plain is actually an inclination). But worst things come to worst, is finding yourself in the wrong tent, and waking up with the wrong buddy. Oh hell.

And speaking of piss-laden mud, you'd know that festivals would usually mean one thing: beer. Tons and tons, kegs and kegs, and a whole lot of volume of foamy, fizzy, beer. Oh sure, the drink is fine. Anyone who dares contradict this fact is ending up for some tee-peeing and getting labeled as a party pooper. But back to the story. Where there is beer, there is sure to end up a lot of peeing.

And it is not limited to just boys. It also happens to girls. You know, the whole story of stick out the gun, and watering the lawn with a golden shower. Absolutely tasteless, but it happens. And not only that. You spit, you snort, you even poo. Wow, talk about humanity.

Suck it up, go to the nearest mosh potty place and dump your bodily luggage there. And be good about it. Don't slobber it up like a pig, and don't aim anywhere else except in front of you. Everyone knows the world could do with one less dirty an outhouse. - 16887

About the Author:

No comments: