Following the events that took place the night of August 9, 2009 in Canton, Ohio it has come to light that an epidemic is spreading across the United States at an alarming rate. There is no known cure for this disease that has been described as a fever. Top health officials are in meetings but feel the outlook is bleak.
The disease has been temporarily labeled "Pigskin Fever". Most of the symptoms are still unknown, but early signs of the disease include symptoms such as the painting of one's face in team's colors, loud noises, colored hair, and more.
Anyone with the disease has glued themselves to television sets, adamant upon staying there through the course of entire weekends, Monday nights, and even Thanksgiving. Their only remedy, they claim, is hours of televised football.
In an exclusive interview Bob Zoo had the following to say-" I was just sitting there Sunday night happy and content. My life was going well with Nascar on the weekends and MLB throughout the week when suddenly I clicked to my local NBC affiliate. The next thing I knew I was in a football jersey screaming like a banshee. The fake punt for a touchdown just launched me into oblivion. I can't wait for more hits. When is the next game on?"
Now, his neighbors are all on alert Aside from all of the ornaments he's littered his front yard with, he found a neighbor carrying a crate of oranges to his door, tackled him, took the oranges, and ran them back to his house across the street before dancing in celebration.
The scary thing about this outbreak is that authorities predict it will continue to spread at a rapid pace through the rest of the year. The remedy, they say, is to fill a stadium with 100,000 or more people at universities around the country.
It has also been announced by the Surgeon general that if you are not affected by this disease you should report immediately to your local mental health agency for psychiatric evaluation as it may not be safe for you to be a part of mainstream society.
Well, football is back. It's going to be another crazy year and I can't wait! - 16887
The disease has been temporarily labeled "Pigskin Fever". Most of the symptoms are still unknown, but early signs of the disease include symptoms such as the painting of one's face in team's colors, loud noises, colored hair, and more.
Anyone with the disease has glued themselves to television sets, adamant upon staying there through the course of entire weekends, Monday nights, and even Thanksgiving. Their only remedy, they claim, is hours of televised football.
In an exclusive interview Bob Zoo had the following to say-" I was just sitting there Sunday night happy and content. My life was going well with Nascar on the weekends and MLB throughout the week when suddenly I clicked to my local NBC affiliate. The next thing I knew I was in a football jersey screaming like a banshee. The fake punt for a touchdown just launched me into oblivion. I can't wait for more hits. When is the next game on?"
Now, his neighbors are all on alert Aside from all of the ornaments he's littered his front yard with, he found a neighbor carrying a crate of oranges to his door, tackled him, took the oranges, and ran them back to his house across the street before dancing in celebration.
The scary thing about this outbreak is that authorities predict it will continue to spread at a rapid pace through the rest of the year. The remedy, they say, is to fill a stadium with 100,000 or more people at universities around the country.
It has also been announced by the Surgeon general that if you are not affected by this disease you should report immediately to your local mental health agency for psychiatric evaluation as it may not be safe for you to be a part of mainstream society.
Well, football is back. It's going to be another crazy year and I can't wait! - 16887
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If you think you might be infected with these symptoms, we would urge you to head immediately to the NFL football forum at RootZoo Sports, where you can answer over 55,000 NFL trivia questions, play football pick em games, and more.
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